Halloween 2010

Taught my daughter a valuable lesson while sorting through her Halloween candy. I took half of it away and said, "See, kid. That's what it's like to pay taxes".

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Cleavage is the Hamburger Helper of costumes. #justAddBoobs #sluttyMarioBros #Halloween

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Dressing up as Brett Favre for Halloween. Anyone have a grey merkin I can borrow?

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I wish they made a 'Chris Hansen' Halloween costume from "To Catch a Predator". Instead of saying "trick-or-treat" I'd say, "Have a seat. I read your chat log..." That'd scare ya.

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Outsourcing trick-or-treater's next year. Let the candy come to me. #slob

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I think I just heard my dog say, "chocolate shmocholate. Give me some candy, b*tch"


Dogs look at Halloween candy the way men look at strippers. Stare all you want, but you still won't get any. #whoppers #milkDuds

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